Sex and Brunch: 11 Reasons Why Bloody Marys Make You A Better Lover


If you like sex and brunch, you better put down that mimosa and get yourself a bloody mary.  With eleven libido-loving ingredients, this crimson brunch cocktail is your one stop shop for boosting your sex life and making you a better lover.


1. Tomatoes

With its super dose of lycopene, tomatoes are used to prevent various cancers and cardiovascular disease, to enhance circulation and improve blood flow, and even as a natural treatment for prostate disease.  All good stuff for you and your sex life.  But if that’s not direct enough, this lady thinks the mere scent of tomatoes increases penile blood flow by 5%.


2. Chili Peppers

Bloody marys should be spicy not just because they taste better that way but because the capsaicin contained in chili peppers actually causes physiological responses in the body that mirror the signs of sexual arousal.  Increased breathing, sweating and blood flow are all natural responses to consuming these spicy peppers, and, according to Today, people also “tend to credit their date with evoking those spine-tingling feelings.”


3. Booze

We all know that alcohol lowers our inhibitions, but did you know that it can also keep your junk and your libido healthy?  In one study, drinkers experienced rates of impotence 25% to 30% below those of teetotalers.  In another study, alcohol caused a temporary surge of testosterone in women, boosting their libido.  And if the whole Bruce Willis Unbreakable thing is what you’re into, in some cases, alcohol can even make you invincible.


4. The Color Red

Red is the color of love, passion, eroticism and bloody marys.  It’s been known to both enhance a man’s attractiveness and make men feel more amorous toward womenIn one study, men even expressed the intent to spend more money on a date with a woman in red.   So if you’re looking for love (or money), drink a bloody mary; it looks good on you.


5. Oysters

The recent trend in oyster garnished bloody marys is not only good for your seafood craving taste buds but also your burning loins.  With their high zinc content and rare amino acids, these slimy sex bombs raise dopamine levels and help produce testosterone, a vital hormone for your sexual appetite.

6. Celery

Sorry, ladies, this one is just for men.   Celery contains androstenone, a chemical that increases sexual pheromone levels in men’s sweat.  When combined with one’s own natural pheromones, it gives off a special double dose of come-hither scent that makes men more attractive.  Celery also happens to increase the amount of a man’s ejaculatory fluids, which contributes to a stronger climax.   How’s that for a TIL.


7. Lemon Juice

If fertility is what you’re after, then drink your way to a happy hoo-ha with this alkalinizing food.   Nobody, including sperm, likes an acid-ridden vagina, and lemon juice can help soothe the passage way for those little swimmers.  The vitamin C and thiamin contained in lemon juice may also boost fertility, but don’t get too crazy.  Livestrong wants you to know that “applying it directly to sperm may have deleterious effects.”


8. Pickled Vegetables

Pickled asparagus has been known to grace the glasses of many bloody marys and, according to Huff Po, is also “known for its suggestive shape” and sex drive boosting qualities.  I guess this article is loaded with sexual innuendo, but I really don’t see what they’re getting at here.  Long, thin, and generally flaccid with a hairy tip, it’s not my idea of a good time, but I suppose to each his own.  In any event, if I just totally grossed out asparagus for you, there’s always pickle “juice” for any post-coitus muscle cramps.


9. Horseradish

If you don’t watch Polyamory, you should.  Kamala Devi is the new face of poly and has the libido of a… hmm…  poly, tantric sex goddess?  So when she tells you what, who, or where to eat, you had better mind her sexually sage advice.  Horseradish fits squarely within the what category and is just one of the many foods on her natural aphrodisiacs list.

Lea & Perrins

10. Worcestershire

Okay, so maybe Worcestershire doesn’t have any sexually healing properties in and of itself, but consuming vitamins B6, E and C in this saucy bloody mary ingredient does contribute to a strong immune system, improve your mood and protect against free radical damage.  In other words, you can avoid being a sickly, bitchy, wrinkle-faced scurvy pirate, and that’s always a plus in the dating market.

11. Olives

And if all else fails, you and/or your special friend can always engage in a creepy olive fetish (seriously, this explicit account of sexualized olive play surprised even me).

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor and these claims have not been scientifically proven or evaluated by the FDA.  This article does not intend to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.  In other words, if you want to drink bloody marys and get frisky, or get frisky and drink bloody marys, that’s on you.

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