Genies Cafe. A Beacon of Vodka Infused Light.

4.5 Celery Stalks, Portland Bloody Marys

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As The Celery Stalker and The Drunken Tomato continued their quest for the ultimate bloody mary, they came upon a beacon of vodka infused light as they entered Genies Cafe in Portland, Oregon.  What follows is a recount of their first impressions as they quenched their thirst for the ultimate savory cocktail.

The Celery Stalker:



I remember my first time, how skeptical I was, how unusual I found the whole concept, the anticipation I felt just before.   Yes, my first time drinking vodka infused with savory ingredients was quite memorable.  I was relatively new to the world of non-Kool-Aid (Purplesaurus Rex was my favorite).  Most of my alcoholic drinks to this point had been included in some sort of sugary mixer (Soda, Kahlua, or fruit juices).  But luckily for me, a knowledgeable friend introduced me to something new at a certain Russian vodka bar in NYC.  I experienced numerous vodka infusions that were all wonderful, but the horseradish infused vodka is what I left thinking about.  This experience opened my eyes to a whole new world of cocktails.  The new world?  Cocktails that could be enjoyed with savory ingredients, the most important of these being the bloody mary.

So I was happy to find out that Genies Café in Portland, Oregon serves up some of the finest vodka infused bloody marys that a boy could ask for.  It’s tough to choose just one, but I settled on the cucumber dill infused vodka served with Genies Mary Mix.  I have been on quite the dill kick lately, so this was a home run for me.  The cleanness of the cucumber balanced nicely with the dill, a combination reminiscent of homemade pickles.  This natural combination also fit well with Genies Mary Mix, which was very good, refreshing like a tomato should be and full of flavor.  On a bloody mary scale of admiration, I must say that I loved this bloody mary and can’t wait to try even more of their vodka infusions.  4.5 Celery Stalks.

The Drunken Tomato:

All I have to say is, “fucking delicious.”  Balanced but spicy, fresh and topped with all the right garnishes*, this bloody mary blew my mind.  Don’t even think twice, don’t even finish reading this review, stop everything right now because you need this bloody in your life.  The only question you need to answer is which of the thirteen house infused vodkas you’d like with your bloody mary.  I managed to get my hands on three (yes, I really just couldn’t stop): the garlic was fantastically garlicky, the cucumber dill added a refreshing coolness and the rosemary, well, just really tasted like rosemary.  My only note to you is that these infusions are strong.  Get a flavor you like and enjoy one of the best bloody marys of your life.  4.5 Celery Stalks.

*All the right garnishes: celery, lime, lemon, pepperoncini, cherry pepper, olive.

 Genies Cafe.
1101 SE Division, Portland, OR 97202.  P: (503) 445-9777.

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The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary),I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing.But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again.Always yours,The Celery Stalker
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