4.5 Celery Stalks

George’s Bloody Mary Mix. Mouth Watering.

by The Drunken Tomato on May 30, 2013

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, Bloody Mary Mix

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I can be wary of pre-made bottled bloody mary mixes.  We all know the downfalls, and I’ve outlined them here many times.  But lately, I’ve seen a multitude of revamped, locally sourced, small batch, geographic specific and damn delicious recipes hit the market.  Vintage Vine literally blew my mind, offering up the first five celery [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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Hash House A Go Go. Purely American.

by The Celery Stalker on July 3, 2012

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, California, Nevada

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As the 4th of July approaches, it seems fitting to reflect on the traditions of this country and its people.  Of course it’s appropriate to think about things like freedom, fireworks and Will Smith, but what we really embrace on the 4th of July is eating and drinking.  One of my favorite aspects of the [...]

About The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary), I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing. But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again. Always yours, The Celery Stalker

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Genies Cafe. A Beacon of Vodka Infused Light.

by The Celery Stalker on June 26, 2012

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, Oregon

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As The Celery Stalker and The Drunken Tomato continued their quest for the ultimate bloody mary, they came upon a beacon of vodka infused light as they entered Genies Cafe in Portland, Oregon.  What follows is a recount of their first impressions as they quenched their thirst for the ultimate savory cocktail. The Celery Stalker: [...]

About The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary), I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing. But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again. Always yours, The Celery Stalker

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Mother’s Bistro & Bar. Bloody Mary Perfection.

by The Drunken Tomato on June 7, 2012

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, Oregon

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He’s a tall glass of water.  A goofy faced 6’ 4”, he walks with a waddle-like limp and a floppy head of hair.  A memorable writer, a man of complexities, a man with a refreshingly honest rant; his words are emotional jabs at a convoluted world.  And he’s charming, too. On a rare sunny day [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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FIG. Foie Gras Ooo La La.

by The Celery Stalker on February 23, 2012

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, California

Growing up in the Portland, Oregon suburb of Gresham, I was not afforded many opportunities to partake in obscure, yet traditional, foods such as the French delicacy, foie gras.  My food upbringing was fairly traditional 1980s/90s American fare; i.e. chicken casseroles, tomato based pastas, ground beef “Mexican” and the occasional visit to the local pizzeria.  [...]

About The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary), I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing. But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again. Always yours, The Celery Stalker

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Dick’s Hideaway. Worth Discovering.

by The Celery Stalker on December 21, 2011

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in 4.5 Celery Stalks, Arizona

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Phoenix, Arizona. In town for some celerystalker business (not as creepy as it sounds, I swear). Work responsibilities were finished by 2 o’clock and a Friday afternoon bloody mary was most certainly in order before the flight back to la la land. After some quick research, I found myself at a place called Dick’s Hideaway. [...]

About The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary), I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing. But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again. Always yours, The Celery Stalker

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