3.5 Celery Stalks

The Pint House. Upscale and Fiery.

by The Drunken Tomato on April 19, 2013

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, California

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I like hockey games.  I like the fights, the fans, the overpriced beers and the loud sounds of sticks, pucks and body slams.  I like soft baked pretzels with nacho cheese, and I especially like the long time tradition of pre-game drinks.  So before a recent Anaheim Ducks game, I made my way to a [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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Slow Bar. House Infused Delicious Trickery.

by The Drunken Tomato on January 17, 2013

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, Oregon

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So I was on my way to a Halo 4 marathon.  Specifically, I was on my way to a non-stop, Let’s Play style video and audio group recording of Missions 5 through 8 of Halo 4.  I was getting short on my time in Portland and needed to squeeze in a few more bloodys before [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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Simmzy’s. Sweet, Sweet Bacon.

by The Drunken Tomato on December 12, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, California

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The Celery Stalker and I were on a geocaching mission.  Twenty caches in one day was the goal.  The Long Beach neighborhood of Belmont Shore was the locale.  From the very tip of the peninsula to a bit past the famed Belmont Plaza Pool, we wandered along Ocean Boulevard minding our coordinates and avoiding the [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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Tasty n Sons. Sufferin’ Shakshuka!

by The Celery Stalker on November 17, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, Oregon

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I’ve always said I learned more life lessons from Looney Tunes than from any of my childhood school years.  For example, do not trust advertising.  Those damn ACME products never helped Wile E. Coyote catch that delicious looking Road Runner.  Also, if someone looks and sounds a little too sweet and innocent, you better watch [...]

About The Celery Stalker

My dearest future Mrs. Celery Stalker (currently Miss Bloody Mary), I want you to know how important you are to me. Your flowing celery leaflets and glistening fruit juices drive me wild. And I often lose myself just thinking about consuming your every last drop. If you do not believe me, allow me to show you my shrine of the many high resolution pictures I have taken in your honor. I also want you to know that I will always protect you from the evils of the world, such as bottled mixes and overwhelming horseradish. You will never have to fear such horrendous evils, as I am skilled in the fine art of celery spearing. But every time we say goodbye I fear you will forget me. Please know that I will never forget you. From your barest form to your most elaborate dressings, every element you add to yourself is recorded in my mind, and I recall these images more frequently than you could imagine. I want to know you, my dearest Bloody Mary. I want to experience you in every corner of the world and maybe even take you to one of those risqué build your own bloody mary bars. Oh how delightfully sinful that would be! But please understand this. We are made for each other. Wherever you are, I will find you. I will endlessly pursue you and you will be mine. Don’t try and fight it. I cherish your salty rim. And I wait for the day we can be together again. Always yours, The Celery Stalker

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Kenny & Zuke’s. Carpe Diem.

by The Garnish Gobbler on October 29, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, Oregon

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When the Drunken Tomato comes to town, misadventures just happen.  It is a fact of life I have come to accept, cherish, and even relish.  And of course, misadventures beg recovery.  So it came to pass that she and I arrived at Kenny & Zuke’s in downtown Portland, a bit after the breakfast hour. We [...]

About The Garnish Gobbler

For him, it is not a quest or mission. There isn’t a higher calling, a divine purpose behind his actions. He simply enjoys drinking and writing. And why shouldn’t he? Armed with nothing but thirst and brutal honesty, the Garnish Gobbler sets forth to join our team of misfits on their drunken misadventures. Though not seeking anything specific, he knows when he has found a good thing, and will let the world know. When not drinking Bloodies, he throws back whiskey, and continues to write. His personal blog is full of musings, stories, and general frustration. Read it here .

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Bubby’s. Masons, Marys, & Pancakes.

by The Buzzed Assassin on September 25, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, New York

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It is not often that someone welcomes news of an assassin, but the readers of this blog know better.  The Assassin returns!  And this time, he is in Tribeca, specifically, Bubby’s, which has been a mainstay of Tribeca for over twenty years (they also have an outpost in the DUMBO area of Brooklyn, though maybe [...]

About The Buzzed Assassin

You think you see motion out of the corner of your eye, but by then it is too late. The cocktail glass is empty, and the Buzzed Assassin has struck again. Wherever there is a delicious cocktail or spirit to be had, the Buzzed Assassin lurks. From the diviest of dives to the cleanest and most well lit business lounge, no libation is safe when it is brought to his attention. Bloody Marys of the world beware, for the Drunken Tomato has taken a contract out on you, and where she points, the Assassin and his razor sharp and efficient liver will strike home. Always.

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Cafeteria. Inferno Bloody Mary.

by The Buzzed Assassin on September 12, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, New York

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Welcome back, loyal Drunken Tomato fans!  Coming to see what adventures your friendly neighborhood Assassin has gotten himself into?  Well, look no further, as the Assassin’s journey recently went through Chelsea to discover the well-known Seventh Avenue spot, Cafeteria. Opening in the heady days that marked the end of the 20th century, Cafeteria has become [...]

About The Buzzed Assassin

You think you see motion out of the corner of your eye, but by then it is too late. The cocktail glass is empty, and the Buzzed Assassin has struck again. Wherever there is a delicious cocktail or spirit to be had, the Buzzed Assassin lurks. From the diviest of dives to the cleanest and most well lit business lounge, no libation is safe when it is brought to his attention. Bloody Marys of the world beware, for the Drunken Tomato has taken a contract out on you, and where she points, the Assassin and his razor sharp and efficient liver will strike home. Always.

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Sons of Essex. Immigrant Inspired, Pepper Fueled.

by The Buzzed Assassin on August 17, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, New York

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The Buzzed Assassin continues his stalking adventures through New York’s finest (and not so finest) drinking establishments.  My recent brunch-time travels brought me back to the Lower East Side, which, for decades at the beginning of the 20th century, was the destination of immigrant European and Jewish workers and their families, bound for the tenements [...]

About The Buzzed Assassin

You think you see motion out of the corner of your eye, but by then it is too late. The cocktail glass is empty, and the Buzzed Assassin has struck again. Wherever there is a delicious cocktail or spirit to be had, the Buzzed Assassin lurks. From the diviest of dives to the cleanest and most well lit business lounge, no libation is safe when it is brought to his attention. Bloody Marys of the world beware, for the Drunken Tomato has taken a contract out on you, and where she points, the Assassin and his razor sharp and efficient liver will strike home. Always.

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Build Your Own Bloody Mary: La Cita.

by The Drunken Tomato on July 20, 2012

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in 3.5 Celery Stalks, California

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Imagine, if you will, a bloody mary oasis hidden within a towering group of concrete skyscrapers, masked behind a dark, red-tinted authentic Latin salsa bar where you are but one person on a patio full of bloody mary imbibers.  It’s Sunday.  And your heart is beating for this blessed drink.  Last night’s activities have left [...]

About The Drunken Tomato

With reckless abandon, I travel the world drunkenly imbibing bloody marys from the darkest corner bars to the brightest outdoor cafes, in search of this magnificant cocktail. I do this not so that I may gain the knowledge of but a fractional piece of the bloody mary pie, but rather, I do this so that my experiences can hopefully one day inspire you to continue on with this quest. I understand it is the journey that fulfills us. And for me, that journey lies within my epic crusade for the ultimate bloody mary.

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